Archive for June, 2006

As I entered the concert last night, I heard a 20-something ask his buddy who was opening the show.  “Is  3 Doors Down opening for Lynyrd Skynyrd or is Skynyrd opening for them?”  I wanted to get in his face and say, “Are you out of your fu**ing mind?”

I knew this would probably generate a stupid comment like, “Man, Skynyrd hasn’t put out a CD (Album) in 30 years.”   So, I let the comment pass.

“You can’t fix stupid.” – Ron White

You have to understand something.  Most of the music created since 1990 is crap.  There is a reason why acts like U2, Tom Petty, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and The Rolling Stones continually sell out concert venues today.  Their music has transcended time. 

Check out the top concert tours of 2005.  Only 2 out of the top 10 are acts that entered the music scene post-1990.  Celine Dion doesn’t count because they include her stupid Caesars Palace shows.

Is this because the majority of the concert going public is old?  Of course not.  I saw dozens of teenagers singing along to “Sweet Home Alabama” last night.  Why?  Because the song transcends time.

Does someone actually think that 20 years from now, amphitheaters across the country will be packed with 40 year-olds singing along to, “It’s Your Birthday” at a 50-Cent concert? 

3 Doors Down has a shot at longevity because they are a good rock ‘n’ roll band.  I’m sure there are a few others that make, or will make, music that crosses generations.  I’m just not convinced, yet.

Gimme back my bullets.

Benny

Girl

Okay.

Today’s blog is a little early as I am going to the Lynyrd Skynyrd/3 Doors Down show tonight.  Tory K. was kind enough to donate a free 10th row ticket to the Summer of Benny.  Sweet.

Working in the city has its moments.  On the way into the office today after, I saw an old, beat up Chevy Corsica in front of me.  It looked like the vehicle was once painted white and the back end was nearly touching the ground.  The passengers, three African-American males, were laughing hysterically as the driver made a U-turn in the middle of rush hour traffic with a 40 oz. hanging out the window.  Classic.

If you have never seen the HBO Original Series, Entourage, click on this link to see why we love the show.  The video is a collection of Ari Gold’s best moments from the first 2 seasons.

Daddy has to go.  He’s on the phone with a hot prospect and the blog is hindering his sales efforts.

Sweet Home Alabama.

Benny 

Bend It Like Beckham? I always thought that came from a Paris Hilton video.

If you haven’t been to YouTube yet, it’s worth the effort. In fact, if you just started a new job and your boss is out of town for the week, it’s a great way to spend the afternoon.

I’ve been dog-sitting Rocky since Thursday. Tonight, G-Unit stopped by because he wanted to take the mutt for a few days. G said that he smelled urine and started sniffing the dog. Wink.

A St. Louis judge has halted executions in Missouri. Among the concerns is the doctor responsible for mixing the drugs is dyslexic. I wonder if the doctor ever prayed with an inmate and told him that there really is a Dog. I know that’s an old one, but some of these are just for me.

Health food shops in Britain will soon be offering iced marijuana tea. In a related story, Snoop Dogg is petitioning Britain officials to lift his permanent ban. In his request, the Dogfather wrote, “You biatches is off tha hizzle, blunt-rollin’ tha tea for my nizzles, fo’ shizzle.”

They call me the breeze.

Benny

An entrepreneur finally has Johnny Drama T-Shirts available in White.   I’m sure they’re not the “Official HBO” version which was only offered in black but who cares.  If you would like to see me in this shirt, go to the Summer of Benny website and donate $23.99.   Type “Drama” in the PayPal description field.

A restaurant in Florida is offering a $100 burger.  If you are enjoying $100 whoppers for dinner, you can certainly buy me a $20 Johnny Drama shirt.

Check out this 80’s Videos website. 

I want to publicly apologize to Issac.  He assures me that he was not the one who posted the derogatory comments on Friday.  The actual butt plug lives in Florida.

I was supposed to help Danielle and Abby move yesterday but Tom and Brian took care of it.  My buddy Red has a great philosophy on helping people move.  “I don’t ask anyone to help me move, and I expect the same.”

I found a free video of Scotty Doesn’t Know from Eurotrip.  If you haven’t seen the movie, Fiona just broke up with Scotty at his high school graduation.  You’ll get the rest when you see the video.  The movie has one of the greatest cameos of all time (Matt Damon).

More tomorrow…

Benny

This post will be brief as I am typing it in the am because the never reliable web hosting servers were down last night.  Shocker.

Kate has been unmasked.  My apologies to Tom d G who I had accused of being the perp last week.  The actual creator of my fake admirer is none other than Jane W.

Jane W. sent me an email yesterday with a picture she found on the Summer of Benny website.  The pic was of Abby and Danielle, two of the hottest chickies to roam the pool this summer.  Here is what she wrote in the message: 

“I want to make out with the brunette so badly.” – Jane W.

Obviously, Jane W. is a freak and thankfully, I have a lot of stories about her.  Because time is limited this morning, I need to stop here.  However, I will try to think of ways to pay her back for the great Kate Caper of ’06. 

Stop dragging my heart around.

Benny

June 21st…one of my favorite days of the year.  Others include Super Bowl Sunday, Derby Day, springing forward, and the day the SI Swimsuit edition gets delivered. 

I read an article today that talks about blacks fading in baseball.  Can you imagine the backlash if someone wrote an article on whites not being a bigger part of the NBA? 

There is a double-standard in this country.  Hollywood can make a movie called, “White Men Can’t Jump” but I get labeled a racist when I ask a black friend if McDonalds would ever sell a Filet-O-Fish or orange soda if it wasn’t for his people…not counting Lent.

Changing subjects…

I’ve received a few emails from Sunday’s post which includes a picture from the O. weekend.  Mr. O. is not anorexic; he just looks skinnier standing next to me.  Although, it wouldn’t surprise me if he could hula hoop with a Cheerio or hang glide on a Dorito.

I found this story funny because if you have ever called AOL and tried to cancel your subscription, you can sympathize with this guy.  This company is harder to get rid of than a drinking problem.

Cheers,

Benny

Matt

After years of watching my friend Matt turn prematurely grey, I finally decided to buy some hair color.  I have to apply it by tomorrow night because the instructions state that you cannot go swimming for 48 hours.  That would ruin my weekend.

Speaking of Matt, I “volunteered” to watch his family dog later this week.  He called me yesterday to tell me how I should talk to Rocky, their three year-old cocker spaniel.  Like Matt’s the frickin’ dog whisperer, or something.  I’ve had dogs all my life and know the only way to talk to them is a rolled up newspaper and a smack on the ass.  Rocky will be fine.  Not happy, but fine.

Finally, there’s proof that chicks like funny guys.  Money may also be a factor but until the Summer of Benny starts churning cash like a casino, having a lot of money doesn’t seem to be a deal breaker.

The 2006 Mascot Hall of Fame Candidates were announced today.  Noticeably absent was Fred Bird of the St. Louis Cardinals.  Sources, speaking on the condition on anonymity, said they had heard a possible gambling problem was the most likely reason he was left off the ballot.  KC Wolf should be a lock to make the HOF and is listed as an early 8-5 favorite on many offshore gambling websites.

David Blaine’s next stunt has him hanging by his arms off the Brooklyn Bridge.  Who would want to watch this? 

Looks like Mayor Nagin has New Orleans under control.  I’m sure he’s still blaming the federal government.

Stay golden, Pony Boy.

Benny

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