SOB_Header_Image
Matt

After years of watching my friend Matt turn prematurely grey, I finally decided to buy some hair color.  I have to apply it by tomorrow night because the instructions state that you cannot go swimming for 48 hours.  That would ruin my weekend.

Speaking of Matt, I “volunteered” to watch his family dog later this week.  He called me yesterday to tell me how I should talk to Rocky, their three year-old cocker spaniel.  Like Matt’s the frickin’ dog whisperer, or something.  I’ve had dogs all my life and know the only way to talk to them is a rolled up newspaper and a smack on the ass.  Rocky will be fine.  Not happy, but fine.

Finally, there’s proof that chicks like funny guys.  Money may also be a factor but until the Summer of Benny starts churning cash like a casino, having a lot of money doesn’t seem to be a deal breaker.

The 2006 Mascot Hall of Fame Candidates were announced today.  Noticeably absent was Fred Bird of the St. Louis Cardinals.  Sources, speaking on the condition on anonymity, said they had heard a possible gambling problem was the most likely reason he was left off the ballot.  KC Wolf should be a lock to make the HOF and is listed as an early 8-5 favorite on many offshore gambling websites.

David Blaine’s next stunt has him hanging by his arms off the Brooklyn Bridge.  Who would want to watch this? 

Looks like Mayor Nagin has New Orleans under control.  I’m sure he’s still blaming the federal government.

Stay golden, Pony Boy.

Benny