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STFU

CBS put Katie Couric on the Photoshop Diet.  I bet Rosie O’Donnell just bought an ass-load of Adobe stock.

Thanks to Dave B. for emailing this funny video of women lying about their weight. 

Have you ever been on a date and “Brown Eyed Girl” by Van Morrison comes on, and the chick you’re with says, “This is my song”?  Yeah, I’m sure he had you in mind when he wrote it.

Man, I’m feeling like a hater, player.  Changing gears, take a look at Jane W.’s photo album from Nelly’s Black and White Ball.  It looks like she had fun but I would have probably gotten my ass kicked.

GM decided to end its sponsorship of “Survivor,” but said it had nothing to do with the recent news that this year’s contestants will be separated by race.  Yeah, right.  I’m anxious to see how this is going to affect the sales of Cadillac Escalades.

Thanks to Scott B. for emailing the Best Country Song Ever.

I can’t remember a time when I heard more stories about toilets. 

First, CNN’s Kyra Phillips forgets to turn off her microphone when she goes to the crapper during a speech by President Bush.  Instead of hearing The President talk about the 1-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, viewers were subjected to her restroom rant about her family with the chick in the next stall.  Can you spare a square?

Then, I read an article about a pilot locking himself out of the cockpit, 30-minutes from landing, after he made a trip to the sh-tter.  WTF?

The bottle was dusty but the liquor was clean.

Benny