I Know A Little

I think this guy lost his security deposit.  Thanks for the email, Mike K.

A new study implies that your weight affects your car’s gas mileage.  The more you weigh, the less miles per gallon your car will get.  If this is true, I need to seriously consider a diet; or buy a moped.

You got junk in yo’ trunk.

TMZ has a list of celebrities who claim they’re environmentally friendly for driving hybrid cars, but waste thousands of gallons of fuel by taking private jets.

Could there be any more political ads on TV?  I’m starting to miss the drug company commercials.  It seems like months since I’ve heard a reference to anal leakage as a possible side effect.

St. Louis has a unique tradition on Halloween.  Before you give the little runts candy, they have to tell you a joke.  In honor of this tradition, I now give you my favorite dirty joke of all-time. 

(Please stop reading if you find dirty jokes offensive).

Pierre is a French painter with a skinny moustache and wears a beret.  One day, he is painting a nude woman.  When he gets to her breasts, he says, “Madame, you have such beautiful tits.  I would love to suck them.”

The lady says, “C’mon over.” 

Pierre puts down the paintbrush and proceeds to suck her tits.

He returns to painting, but stops when he gets to her belly button.  He says, “Madame, you have such a wonderful navel.  I would love to run my tongue in-and-out of it.”

She says, “C’mon over.”

Pierre walks over, and runs his tongue in-and-out of her belly button.

Once again, he returns to the canvass, but stops painting when he gets to her vagina.  He says, “Madame, you have such a lovely pussy.  I would love to eat it.”

Again, she says, “C’mon over.”

Pierre drops the paintbrush, pins her legs behind her ears, and begins to eat her out. 

All of a sudden, she releases an incredibly loud fart.  Pierre looks down and says, “Don’t fret little fellar.  You’re next.”

I know a little ’bout love.  And baby I can guess the rest.

Benny