Men Are From Mars, Women Like My Penis

It never ceases to amaze me how differently men and women interact with their friends.

For example, let’s say a group of women are out one night, and one of them is wearing an outfit or piece of clothing that isn’t exactly flattering.

None of them will say anything to their friend.  However, they will make comments behind her back as soon as she is out of earshot.  This usually occurs in the ladies room or by telephone the following day.

“What was she thinking when she put that on?” is a commonly used phrase. 

Now, let’s see how men handle a similar situation.

After noticing a buddy has more chins than a Chinese phone book, Matt says, “Dude, you shouldn’t wear turtlenecks.”

Notice the difference?  By the way, thanks Matt.  I haven’t worn one since, and dropped 20 lbs.  Good talk.

Dani-girl sent me an email to tell me that I don’t have to search for affirmative action replacements.  She wrote, “i am Jewish…i am a minority……and jody is Baptist (or gay)- those are minorities…there 2 new minorities!!”

Not to be outdone, Tom d G sent an mail regarding my comment yesterday where I referred to body building as being kind of gay.  I replied that I almost put a link to his picture, but didn’t want the ladies to be reminded that he has a better body than me. 

His rebuttal: “I don’t think you have to worry about reminding the ladies about anything.  I’m sure your ongoing references to beer, weed, and uncontrollable body fluids will be enough to remind them.”

Ouch.

I watched Michael Richards (Kramer) apologize on Letterman last night.  He seemed embarrassed and sincere, but that’s a pretty big matzah ball hanging out there.

I’m not condoning what he said.  It was offensive and inappropriate.  But, there is a double standard when it comes to black and white comedians.  One night, I saw a black comedian on BET who said he loved to watch Titanic because he could, “see all them white folk drownin’.”

I quit watching comedians on BET, but not because of that guy.  It just seemed like a lot of words were censored, and I needed subtitles for the ones I could hear.

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

Benny