Another weekend of drunken debauchery…

On Friday, I met a few friends at Ozzie’s to watch the Oregon St/Mizzou football game.  Although the Tigers didn’t win the Sun Bowl, I took full advantage of the 24 oz. draft beer special.  I even managed to catch the first set of Jake’s Leg at Cicero’s later that night.  But I knew it was time to call a cab when I fell asleep at the bar clutching a $1 Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Drinking Duration: 9 hours

I spent Saturday watching college football, and pounding more brews.  In the afternoon, I received a call from a buddy who recently got a new puppy.  He wanted to know if he should put the dog in the kennel while he stabbed the cat.  WTF? 

By the way, the correct answer is put the little f**ker in the cage because it will throw off your rhythm if you catch him watching.

Drinking Duration: 8 hours

New Year’s Eve came and trashed me out again.  I had plans with a chickie poo later that night, so I decided to pace myself.  And by pace myself, I mean drink at my regular pace beginning at noon. 

I watched the Chiefs make the playoffs, a fireworks show, made dinner with the chickie poo, and passed out around 10:00.  Benny’s Rockin’ Eve 2007.

Drinking Duration: 10 hours

Most people would have had enough by New Year’s Day.  But why waste the bottle of Champagne that didn’t get popped the previous night?  I decided to turn lemons into lemonade by grabbing a carton of orange juice, and making Mimosas.

This later turned into Margaritas, and eventually beer.  Beer again?  My Dad always said, “Dance with the lady who brung you.” 

Unfortunately, I fell asleep at 10:00, and missed the 2nd half of one of the greatest college football games of all-time.

Drinking Duration: 12 hours

Most experts would consider this amount of alcohol consumption as problem drinking; at a minimum.  They may be right, but I’m drinking a few cold ones tonight.  I consider this “maintenance.”

Dani-girl uploaded pictures from her New Year’s Eve.  She names the files; not me.

Jimmy Kimmel Show - One Year of Unnecessary Censorship.

Stephen Colbert from the Daily Show - Democrats lose the porn vote.

I sometimes wonder if there has ever been a sex addict that has masturbated during a Sexaholics Anonymous meeting. 

I’m sure there has been countless number of people who have been drunk at AA meetings.  Or a guy who just snorted a couple of lines of booger sugar before walking into an NA meeting. 

I’m not making fun of 12-step recovery programs.  I’m just saying that being drunk and stoned are noticeable.  But you probably won’t ever know that the chick sitting across from you is flicking her bean under the table while thinking about getting it from behind.

Whispers at the bus stop.

Benny

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007 at 11:18 pm and is filed under Daily Episodes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.