Archive for April, 2007


Kids, enjoy your youth.  Because this is what happens at midnight on a Saturday when you’re a middle-aged man, and you’ve just spent the day drinking beer and playing golf.

Have you ever taken your car to a mechanic, and been told the dip stick you’ve been using to check the oil level was actually for the transmission fluid?

Me neither.

I’ve scoured the internet tonight, and found very little that made me laugh or kept my interest, but here’s a couple.

Entourage Monday Decoder from

This may be my least favorite headline ever.

The nights are getting warmer, it won’t be long, it won’t be long till summer comes.


Dani-girl uploaded new pictures

I said goodbye to a couple of old friends last weekend; my Margaritaville flip-flops. 

They made it through two summers, and could have made a third, but others apparently found them too offensive.  And by offensive, I mean they smelled.

They have been replaced by a pair of marijuana sandals called Reefs.  Sweet.

My friend Jane W. is getting married this Saturday.  I won’t be able to make the wedding because my annual golf tournament falls on the same day, but here’s my present.

Betting Odds for the last season of The Sopranos. – Thanks, Mark K. 

I predict that Tony’s escalating gambling habit will be his downfall.

Here are a few audio clips from Donnie Baker.  “Shut up, Randy!”

Forget eHarmony, I found Alec Baldwin’s next wife(Warning: Contains profanity.)

CBS refused to air this John Daly Commercial for Maxfli – Go Long or Go Home

My buddy Red is in town tonight.  Our plans include sharing a nice bottle of wine, watching the Lifetime Channel, and discussing nutrition.

Here comes Johnny Yen again.


You know it’s going to be a strange day when it begins with something called a Taco Dog at 7-Eleven for breakfast.  Hey, I was running late, and needed to get a Powerball ticket and a package of Magnum condoms.  

Most of the workday was spent making cold calls.  And by cold calls, I mean leaving voice mails. 

Wasn’t this Administrative Professionals Day? 

I expected these ladies to be in a better mood on a day filled with greeting cards, free lunches, and ice cream cakes.  But I can count on my nuts the number of times I spoke to a decision-maker.


Things went from bad to worse when I got home.  The TV was tuned to FOX just in time for American Idol.  I watched these numb nuts introduce a charitable spot for Hurricane Katrina victims brought to you by….wait for it…Allstate

Tom d G may want to watch this anti-gay film from the 50’s before his next modeling gig.

Give me $10 across the board on #3.

Your dog keeps licking my nose, and chewing up all those letters.



With beautiful weather over the weekend, we decided not to wait for the water. 

On her website, Sheryl Crow said that limiting the use of toilet paper to one square per sitting will help the environment. 

She obviously doesn’t the share the same diet as me.  I’ve also made a mental note never to shake her hand.

Stupidity Tax Offense: “See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya.” – Cha Ching! – $10.

Have you ever been on a modeling gig, fairly certain that the photographer was gay, watched him get drunk, try to leave only to have him get in your face, and then try to kiss you?

Neither has Tom d G.

Celebrating 4/20 in Canada.  I would have liked to have been the proprietor of a pizzeria that afternoon. 

In case you missed it, here’s the Alec Baldwin voicemail to his daughter(Warning: Contains profanity.)

One of the best inventions I’ve seen in a while – The Pressurized Piss Launcher.

Football player runs into little kid during a spring scrimmage.  The little boy received thirty stitches, but got a signed football.  Gee, thanks.  School officials may ban children from the playing field next year.  Ya think? 

Check out TV Links.  I’m not sure how long this site will be up, but you can watch television shows, movies, sports, and more.  Why not catch the last episode of Entourage while muting your phone during a conference call?

It’s not having what you want.  It’s wanting what you’ve got.


Alec B. just called me a rude little pig for not posting since Friday. 

I’ll write more tonight, but listen to Tim Wilson – But I Could Be Wrong (Warning: Contains profanity.)



Thanks to Cari and Dani-girl who made Summer of Benny t-shirts, and wore them last night to Parties in the Plaza.  I uploaded a few pictures.  Too bad it didn’t rain. 

Happy 420

In honor of today, and my hangover, enjoy 10 of the Greatest Potheads.  Cheech and Chong were #1.  Shocker.

And all my cares go up in smoke.


Sorry for the delay, but I had to attend a diversity conference yesterday.  What a waste of time…

Would someone please get mass murderer Ching Chong Cho off my television? 

After answering several calls and emails about the lackluster content of the site lately, I find myself in desperate need of a power drunk.  I’m not making excuses, but please remember that I have a full-time job unrelated to The Summer of Benny. 

I may also have a drinking problem. 

Little kid gets hit with basketball

Phony Photo Booth 2

Warning: The links below contain profanity and adult material.

Table for two, please; for me and my boner.

Scenes from Entourage last week.  Who knew Ari had a conscious? 

Will Ferrell – The Landlord 

The Nut Bra

Miss Universe drops her clothes.

I found a picture of you.  Those were the happiest days of my life.


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