I suffered a tragic loss recently; IÂ cancelled my cable service. This decision was not easy because I am a lazy person who loves to spend hours flipping aimlessly through 500 channels; not to mention the late night access to porn on Skinemax.
My decision was made after I spent an entire evening on the phone with my cable company trying to explain that there was an error on my bill. I had been charged for a cable modem that had already been paid for in full.
All five people I spoke with were located in another country, spoke little English, and read from a script. I don’t think they had a written response for, “MF, WTF?”
The following day I received a call from another cable company employee. And, guess what? He was an American, and spoke perfect English. He apologized for the error, promised to correct it, and offered me discounts on my services for a year.
I told him, “Thanks, but I have no desire to learn another language just to deal with your customer service.”
Besides, I’m going to spend my free time this summer working on my debut rap album.
Here’s a prime example of how things get lost in translation.
Mexican Tourism Commercial – Thanks, Tory K.
Have you ever had someone call you after they saw a recent picture and said, “Hey man, I thought you’ve been working out? You’re still fat.”
Me neither.
2007 Preakness Running of the Urinals – Thanks, John M.
Invisible Fence Commercial – Thanks, Lance M.
American Idol is finally over, and now we can enjoy American Porno Idol (Warning: Contains adult material.)
Reusable Condom (Warning: Contains adult material.)
The long awaited debut of Dani-girl at the pool could happen this weekend. She had to get new bathing suits because none of the old ones fit her “new rack.” Sweet.
Crank up the drums, crank out the bass, crank up my Les Paul in your face.
Benny