I forgot to mention a couple of events from my Fourth of July.

First, I was able to apologize to the last person remaining on my list from last month’s pool party. Apparently, I used a chick’s $1,000 Prada purse to wipe marinara sauce from my mouth. She was at the pool on the 4th, so I told her that I was sorry. She accepted, but I still don’t understand how someone brings such an expensive purse to a pool party. She probably had less than a hunskie inside.

My name is Earl.

Second, Kobayashi cost me a hunskie when he didn’t win this year’s hot dog eating contest. I bought a package of Nathan’s hot dogs at the grocery store yesterday. I’m going to eat them in twelve minutes.

The drunks at the pool may be right; my patience is wearing thin without beer. My friend Nancy called last night after catching up on the SOB. She said that she was proud of me, and if I can make it ten days, then I can make 10 more. I called her a whore.

The worst job in the world (Warning: Contains profanity)

Jay Leno interviews Paris Hilton

Dave Letterman - Inaccuracies in The Paris Hilton Interview

Close the shades, I’m watching Maria Sharapova.

Drunk Dunk

Watch this guy pass out at a baseball game.

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Ben Franklin

Benny

This entry was posted on Friday, July 6th, 2007 at 7:40 am and is filed under Daily Episodes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.