Super Freak

I’d like to begin by welcoming all of the new readers and subscribers to The Summer of Benny with a special shout-out to Morgan in KC.

This weekend was tame by SOB standards as my mom came into town with my niece and nephew. My niece has been excited about her piano competition for months, so I was caught off guard when the first thing she said to me was, “Daddy wants you to take a picture of me and Dani-girl.” WTF?

After tip-toeing around the issue for a few minutes, I explained that Dani-girl is daddy’s special internet friend and he thinks she is pretty.

The competition was held at a hotel and the participants performed only in front of judges. The hallways were filled with friends and family whose ears were glued to the doors of the respective meeting rooms where their loved ones played. It was American Idol meets Little Miss Sunshine with an emphasis on the latter.

I was intrigued by the number of kids participating in the Accordion category. I’m not against the accordion, in fact, I’ve been known to dance a polka or two during Oktoberfest. However, if your kid plays the accordion, you might as well prepare them for years of getting their ass kicked.

Why Dads Shouldn’t Buy Baby Clothes (Warning: Contains profanity) – Thanks, Ken B.

Super Troopers – A Liter of Cola (Warning: Contains profanity)

Drive-By Fart – Thanks, Leo K.

Slideshow: Magic Goggles (Warning: Contains nudity) – Thanks, Lil’ Bro.

She’s a very kinky girl. The kind you don’t take home to mother.

Benny