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Today a woman caught me scratching my nuts. Well, Jimmy cracked corn, and I don’t care. Hey, it’s fu-king hot and they needed to breathe.

Man, I need to lose some weight. I’m so fat that last week I was wearing red swim trunks at the pool and a bunch of kids starting yelling, “Hey, Kool-Aid.”

Okay, that’s a bit of a stretch, but I’m beginning a weight loss program on August 1st. My goal is to lose 20 pounds by the Chiefs home-opener on September 23rd. I want to look good in my #27 LJ jersey. Weekly weigh-ins will be on Friday mornings, and I’ll post the results next to the beer icon on the site. Like you give a sh-t.

Sometimes these are just for me.

Of course, this means I’ll need to watch my carb intake, including beer. There’s no need to fear, Underdog is here. And by Underdog, I mean Stoli vodka. Mixed with club soda and a twist, this drink can be quite refreshing on a hot summer day.

“Look at Benny calling his own vodka.” – Red; Circa 1990

Do you think Dog Days of Summer mean something completely different to Michael Vick?

I like how the NAACP has brought itself into the Vick story. I don’t know if he’s guilty or not, but I can assure you of one thing – Vick won’t be on my fantasy football team this year.

In case you haven’t seen it, here’s Barry Bond’s rookie card. – Thanks, Mike K.

Dedicate one to the ladies.

Benny

2 Responses

  1. Make it interesting and start a poll. People could buy in for 5 bucks or more. If you make your weight, you get the money. If not, the pot is raffled off.
    GOOD LUCK