Alabama Getaway

Unbelievable…I was confronted by a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses during my walk this morning.

“Have you found Jesus?” one of them asked.

“Yes, and he’s waiting for me at the Catholic Church,” I replied as I pointed up the street.

Before they could respond, I took off running like Carl Lewis; a fat, white Carl Lewis.

I had my annual eye exam this afternoon. My doctor told me that it might be time for me to consider bifocals. I told him that wouldn’t be necessary because I really don’t read that much.

After he put in the drops to dilate my pupils, he asked if I wanted to watch an episode of Veggie Tales while I waited for them to take affect.

“Sure,” I said.

He returned twenty-five minutes later. I told him to make a note in my chart that the patient requests never to be shown an episode of Veggie Tales again.

“No problem,” he laughed.

I left his office with my pupils dilated like I dropped acid at a Grateful Dead concert, but the only song going through my head was from Veggie Tales.

Everybody’s got a water buffalo. Yours is fast but mine is slow.

The Algona Fight Song – The girls from Iowa are from the same hometown as Gina Party. Shocker. 

Sports Observations – Thanks, Chuck H.

Winter will be here before you know it, so check out the first hybrid snowblower. – Thanks, Ken B.

The Guy From Boston Remembers 9/11 (Warning: Contains extreme profanity) – Thanks, Tory. This guy has a slightly different opinion on 9/11 than JC Corcoran had yesterday.

Before I have to hit him, I hope he’s got the sense to run.

Benny