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Happy Birthday Dani-girl. She turns 20-something today, but her boobs are only 18 months old.

A couple of weeks ago, we were discussing how much a man should spend on an engagement ring. Tom said one month salary, I said two months, and Abby said three.

Dani-girl had a set amount in mind – $15,000. What was her reasoning? She said her boobs cost $6,000, so it just makes sense that her engagement ring cost more. Priceless.

Crowe Dog is taking the rest of the week off to celebrate after hearing The Backstreet Boys are releasing a new album. Thanks Tom for the heads-up.

I had lunch with my friend Nancy today. She told me that she met a guy in Massachusetts a few weeks ago, and he is coming into town on Thursday to visit. I told her that maybe the 30th time is a charm.

She seemed unmoved at my attempt at comedy, and went on to say that he is a great guy, and I will really like him. This isn’t possible because I don’t like anyone.

While we ate, I recognized my former used car manager from the dealership I worked at when I first moved to town. I didn’t say “Hi” because my employment didn’t end well.

Here’s what happened…

One Friday night, about fifteen minutes before we closed, an older gentleman walked onto the lot. None of the other sales reps seemed interested, so I walked out and introduced myself.

He immediately started asking for prices on various cars on the lot. With every price I quoted, I got a rude comment back about how our prices were too high.

I finally stopped him, and said, “I’ve only known you for a few minutes, but I can tell you’re just a guy looking for a good buy.”

“Your damn right I am,” he replied.

“Great. Good-bye.” And I walked away.

“I want to talk to the manager right now.”

“Follow me,” I said as I waved him towards the used car shack. “I’m going to need a ride home anyway.”

He told my manager what I had said. My manager asked me if this was true, to which I replied, “Yes, indeedy do, it be true.”

I was fired on the spot. But at least I didn’t have to work on Saturday.

My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.

Benny

5 Responses

  1. Nancy(your San Francisco liberal friend I haven’t seen in a while) met a guy from Massachusetts. Shocker.

  2. let me just add that the $15,000 was a minimum value and reflected the 3 months pay rule (and any guy that is going to propose better make AT LEAST that much within 3 months)….plus the ring really should cost more than my jean collection, which is growing at a fast rate…..

    on a side note, i love roses, chocolate, and tiffany’s….so if any fans need some birthday ideas 🙂

  3. In the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s, George Peppard gave Audrey Hepburn a ring that was the free prize from a box of Cracker Jack, but he had it engraved at Tiffany’s. Now THAT’s classy.

  4. Girls, if you want I’ll share my formula with you that considers carat size, cost and quality to form the conclusion. It worked 4 me! 😉