I almost went through an entire bottle of Lubriderm last night watching The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I should have gone to Tom’s to watch it on HD, but enjoyed the privacy.

We watched the Mizzou/OU debacle last Saturday at Tom’s house. Dan-girl, God love her, showed up during the third quarter, and started talking about purses. Purses! Things went from bad to worse when more pretty young girls showed up.

Hear me out… 

The sound on the television was muted, and replaced with Top 40 music. Actually, I’m not sure if it was Top 40 music. I just know I hadn’t heard any of the songs before, and couldn’t hear the game.

Oh well, when your team is losing by three touchdowns, it’s nice to have an assortment of jugs to look at. That’s why I recommend watching a big game at either Hooters or your local strip club. Just avoid wearing light-colored Khakis.

I’d like to give a shout-out to my primary care physician for refilling my Xanax prescription. Happy Holidays.

SOB Late-Night Joke of the Day

The Bra turns 100 this year. In a related story, Bill Clinton has been missing for three days trying to find the party.

- I’m not making fun of this guy, but he’s going to need more than Clearasil to fix this problem.

- Celebrate the holidays with your very own Festivus Pole. I find tinsel distracting. 

- I’ve got a bad case of diarrhea. Japanese people crack me up.

- Barf bags don’t work in zero gravity.

- Watch this guy try to film his dating ad.

- Hillary farts during debate.

Well, the other night I got invited to a party, but I stayed home instead. Just me and my pal Johnny Walker. And his brothers Blackie and Red.

Benny

We’re about to take this mo-fo to the next level.

SOB reader, Slingen, is offering his graphic design expertise pro boner. He feels a sense of duty to support the humanitarian rights of beer drinking and bed wetting, and is obviously quite the philanthropist.

Slingen designed the header you see at the top of the page and also a few logos:

• T-Shirt Design
• SOB Oval Logo
• SOB Logo 2

Take a look, and leave a comment on what you think of the new digs.

 

For Sale: Oklahoma Sooner T-Shirt. Worn only once while watching The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Large stain on front. $15 OBO. Interesting trades considered.

Would someone please get this fly off of my wine glass? What the fu-k is a fly doing still alive in December anyway?

Easin’ down the highway in a new Cadillac. I had a fine fox in front. I had three more in the back.

Benny