Slippery People

 

I ran into someone today I haven’t seen in a while. The encounter happened as I was walking out of a bathroom. Thankfully I had just washed my hands, so I didn’t feel bad when he extended his hand to greet me.

But I’m always running into people as I leave a bathroom. The problem is that I rarely wash my hands if I only peed. In fact, the only time I do is when others are around, and I feel the need to show a “good faith” rinse.

I understand that you need to wash after you back one out. But why pee? My wiener is probably the cleanest part of my body. I certainly soap it enough.

Lil’ Bro is in Vegas this week, and he called me tonight for my NBA selections. I gave him three. As of this writing, he’s 0-2. Why is he calling me for picks anyway? That’s like asking Britney for parenting advice.

Have you ever been kicked out of a casino for referring to the blackjack dealer as, “The Black Widow?”

Me neither.

– The government issued a warning against swallowing gum. Thanks, Ken B. 

– Four of these five people are Republicans, the other is a Democrat. Can you guess which? Thanks, Doug O.

– Floyd’s Barber Shop has a unique ad. Thanks, Tom.

– Hitler was a ruthless killer, and apparently a huge Cowboys fan. Thanks, Mike W.

– A week in the life of Dave Chappelle after knocking up Oprah. Thanks, Mike L.

What about the time you were fallin’ over? Fell on your face. You must be having fun.