I could never run for President. Not because I wasn’t born a citizen of the United States. I was. And I’m over the minimum age requirement. But the things uncovered in a candidate’s past can be brutal.

In April 2002, Bill Clinton revealed that he tried marijuana when he was a college student, but “never inhaled.” Whatever…

Days before the 2000 election, reports surfaced that George W. Bush had been arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol in 1976.

Hell, I would be blackballed for the things I did last week.

The Clinton not inhaling story still makes me laugh. I mean who smokes weed and doesn’t enjoy it?

If someone ever made a recruitment video for smoking pot, their pitch might be, “Take a few puffs, and the three-day old pizza sitting in your fridge will taste like lobster.”

- Residents of a small village in Austria are not happy with the British. Thanks, Lil’ Bro.

- The answer is….Yes. Thanks, Sheila E.

- Richard Simmons on Whose Line Is It Anyway? Thanks, Red.

- The worst Spiderman, ever. Thanks, Ike.

- Little boy slips and falls in his own pee. I’ve been there before.

- Feigning interest on a date. NSFW

Yeah, the world would swing if I were king.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 31st, 2008 at 12:17 am and is filed under Daily Episodes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.