While drinking a couple of cold ones on New Year’s Day with the boys, the subject of our first jobs came up. My first job was a dishwasher at a local restaurant when I was fifteen. As luck would have it, my first day of work was also the first time I smoked weed.
I didn’t plan on these two events occurring on the same day; it just happened.
My buddy, Lance, came by around noon. I didn’t have to be to work until 4:00, and we had the house to ourselves. My dad was fishing with middle and lil’ bro, and my mom was at her job.
Lance pulled out two joints from his pocket, and we lit one up. The only effect it had on me was an uncontrollable cough. He left around 2:30, and left me the other jibber for later. And by later, I mean a half-hour.
I decided to give it another chance before I got ready for work, so I went outside for a few puffs. Nothing happened until I hopped into the shower which turned into a psychedelic waterfall. I was freaking out, man.
I somehow managed to get dressed, and get on my bike for the ride to work. Cars were flying past me at what seemed like a 100 miles an hour. Just before I got there, an incredible feeling of hunger came over me. I stopped at the grocery store across the street, and devoured a jumbo-sized Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup.
When I walked into the restaurant, the first person I saw was my new boss. “What are you doing here?” he asked.
“This is my first day of work,” I replied.
“No it’s not. You start tomorrow.”
“Sweet. See you then.”
I made it home just in time to call my mom before she left work. “I’m stopping by McDonald’s on the way home. Do you want anything?” she asked.
Grab a pen…
“I’ll take a Big Mac, large order of fries, hot apple pie, and a chocolate shake.”
5,000 calories never tasted so good. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Kickin’ at the tube, watchin’ none better than…You know the king of late night, Yeah Dave Letterman. Not to hilarious, jokes kinda plain. But everything is funny when you’re smokin’ Mary Jane.