Red came into town last week and wanted to see Chuck Berry at Blueberry Hill. Tickets sell out in fifteen minutes for the monthly shows, and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with scalpers. He talked me into going by trading the price of admission for a SOB T-shirt. Done and done.
I traded a Chuck Berry ticket to Benny for one of his T-shirts. I think he got the better end of the deal. – Red to Matt M. the following day.
The earthquake shook me out of bed early Friday morning. I initially thought someone had broken into my apartment, so I jumped up and got ready to kung fu some ass.
When I realized it wasn’t an intruder, I put the blame on my neighbor the porn star. “Not only is he shaking his bed, now he’s shaking mine,” I thought to myself.
I almost stormed upstairs to kick his ass, but remembered something from the only geology class I attended in college – Earthquakes cause the ground to shake. I went back to sleep, satisfied that I had made a mental note from the day’s curriculum.
I would like to thank everyone who suggested I mix a little running into my daily walks. I did it for two days last week, and my legs were so sore over the weekend, I couldn’t get out of bed to pee.Â
Well, I looked at my watch, and to my surprise, I was dancin’ with a woman who was twice my size!
Benny,
I’m sorry to hear about your legs being sore from running. I know how that is. My question is…..Knowing that you pee in your bed all the time, if your legs hurt so bad from running that you “couldn’t get out of bed to pee”, what is your reason for not getting out of bed to pee when your legs aren’t sore?