Bad Day

 

They never hassle their own kind.

When does American Idol end? I still watch it, but not because of the contestant performances or musical guests. I enjoy watching someone get booted off, and then forced to sing a song in tears. Okay, the numb nut kicked off tonight didn’t cry, but he butchered a Bob Marley song. And that made me cry.

This is the same reason I watch figure skating during the Winter Olympics. Inevitably, some poor girl blows a triple axle and winds up on her ass. But she shouldn’t be sad or upset. She practiced for years, did her best, and her ass is usually pretty sweet once she gets up from the ice.

That’s not the sign.

It was when I was banging!

How to Spend Your Stimulus Check

The federal government is sending each and everyone of us a $300 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If we purchase a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan … and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes, weed, beer and tattoos since these are the only products still produced in the USA.

Thank you for your help & please support the U.S.

Thanks, Mr. O.

Man’s Best Friend

A dog is truly a man’s best friend. If you don’t believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

Thanks, John M.

– If celebs moved to Oklahoma. Thanks, X-Man.

- How did this personalized license plate get approved? Thanks, Mr. O.

– A good reason to call off the wedding. Thanks, Sheila E.

– Lee Elia rants about Cubs fans in 1983. Thanks, TJ and Lil’ Bro. NSFW

So where is the passion when you need it the most?