Beer For My Horses

 

Only 2 of the twenty horses from the Kentucky Derby are entered in Saturday’s 133rd running of the Preakness Stakes. Here are picks from some SOB cast members.

 Benny

Pick: Big Brown

Analysis: Big Brown could win this race if he was pulling a plow. Hell, he could drop the plow at the 1/8 pole, moonwalk down the stretch, and still win by three lengths.

The betting strategy is which horses to include on the bottom of an exacta ticket. My choices for the Place slot are Gayego and Racecar Rhapsody.

Big Brown’s attempt at the Triple Crown in the Belmont Stakes could be impeded by a lightly raced horse from Japan, Casino Drive. But more on that in three weeks…

Abby

Pick: Icabad Crane

Analysis: That’s a character from one of my favorite fairy tales. That was a fairy tale, wasn’t it?

Crowe Dog

Pick: Gayego and Giant Moon

Analysis: Mmmmm… Any of you jockeys want to come inside for some cupcakes and a glass of wine?

Dani-girl

Pick: Riley Tucker

Analysis: Never mind… I read the name wrong again.

Gina Party

Pick: Behindatthebar

Analysis: They could have named this horse Visa because that’s everywhere I want to be.

Issac

Pick: Big Brown

Analysis: Once you go brown, you never go back.

Maribeth

Pick: Tres Borrachos

Analysis: I’ve never made out with a Mexican guy.

Tom

Pick: Macho Again

Analysis: Summer’s almost here, and I’m macho again.

When the gun smoke settles we’ll sing a victory tune. We’ll all meet back at the local saloon.