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Morans

Great…

I found a way to get your money’s worth at the Ameristar Sunday Brunch – eat a little food and then spend the next two hours guzzling champagne cocktails. And when you leave, don’t forget the complimentary peppermill.

Tom made it back safely from the Playboy Mansion. Although I did receive a text message on Sunday saying he lost his keys and wallet in the Grotto. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Have you ever seen a chick putting on lip gloss and asked, “Why don’t you put that on my yogurt slinger, and then you can kill two birds with one stone?”

Me neither.

– Psychiatric ward answering machine. Thanks, Lisa F.

Catch and Chug at Wrigley Field.

– Michael Phelps is a bad sport.

I just want you to know who I am.