P-Mobile
I came home Friday and found a FedEx package had been left on my patio. It was from the HR Department of a local corporation. I opened the package to find a job offer – an offer that greatly exceeded my current salary, and included a $5k signing bonus. There was just one problem – I never interviewed with the company.
I had applied for a position with the company several weeks ago, but not for the position of Validation Engineer. I don’t even know what that means.
After consulting with several drunks over the weekend, it was decided that I should accept the offer. Yeah, I know most people would have called the HR contact whose business card was included in the packet. But I’m not most people. And besides, I still held a glimmer of hope that the offer was based solely on my application.
The offer stated that I had to return all paperwork by today, so I signed the contract, and completed the tax forms. I walked into the company this morning and asked to speak with my HR contact.
I introduced myself as she walked into the lobby, and told her that I had decided to accept their offer. She began to fumble through my paperwork with a blank stare on her face. I got the feeling she had already noticed her mistake, but decided to stick to my game plan.
“When do I take the drug test?” I asked.
“Did you speak with Tammy?”
“Who’s Tammy?”
“She’s out of the office today, but leave your phone number and we’ll get back to you.”
“Okee doke,” I said as I handed her my phone number on a sticky note.
I received a follow up call within 30 minutes.
“I think we have a serious problem here,” she said.
“How so?” I asked.
“It seems we sent this job offer to the wrong person.”
“You mean I don’t have the job?” I replied.
“Did you ever interview with us?”
“I can’t really remember. I’ve been through so many interviews lately.”
“Do you even know what an Validation Engineer is?”
“Not really, but it’s probably something I can learn.”
“One of the job requirements is a Master’s Degree in Engineering.”
“Man, you would think the job would pay better.”
“Well, I’m sorry. But we made a mistake.”
“I’ll say. I just gave my 2-week notice to my current employer this morning.”
“I can call them if you want.”
“That’s not going to cut it. I’m without a job now thanks to your mistake. You need to speak with one of your superiors to see what can be done about this. In the meantime, I’m going to contact my attorney.”
“Okay,” she said, and hung up the phone.
I had an email waiting when I got home tonight with ‘Formal Notification’ written in the subject line. She had obviously gotten their attorney involved because the message contained words that someone who sends job offers to the wrong people wouldn’t normally use.
I have no plans to reply to her email.
If ya give this man a ride, sweet memory will die.