Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

My doctor prescribed a new medication for me last week. He said the instructions would contain a laundry list of possible side-effects, but the two main ones would most likely be dry mouth and prolonged ejaculation.

I understood the dry mouth but was curious about the other.

“Does that mean I’ll have longer orgasms?” I asked.

“No, it means that it will take longer to get there.”

“That’s not really something I need at my age.”

“You’ll be fine.”

Wrong.

Now I have to go see him about a sore arm.

As I mentioned earlier this week, both Maribeth and Dani-girl celebrated Birthdays last weekend.

Some interesting things you may not know about Maribeth

– Has a life-size cardboard cutout of Paris Hilton in her living room with Dani-girl’s face on it

– Once made out with a guy that had two broken arms (both in a cast)

– Not afraid to carry beers in her purse to a bar, and then chug them in the bathroom

– Bashi, the 7-11 cashier, knows her by name and order

- Prefers to take shots because mixing a drink takes too long

Some interesting things you may not know about Dani-girl
 
- Thought a 5 alarm fire meant 5 people saw the fire and called it in

– Told me that she wanted to be a Trophy Wife within the first 10 minutes I met her

- Couldn’t figure out how to use the washing machine at Melrose Place her first time… took her clothes out of the washer and slammed the top shut… heard the water running… then put her clothes back in

– Recently completed a marathon wearing a running skirt because she wanted to look ‘girly’

– Has no sense of direction, and once told Abby that North depended on which way you were standing 

I knew her smile in an instant. I knew the curve of her face.