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Cankle Cast 

Never ignore your doctor’s order to go to the hospital for an X-Ray – Because you’ll end up walking around on a broken ankle for a week.

Here’s a little message to everyone that called me a pussy during the week I hobbled around in pain – “Suck it.”

You now realize that I have the pain threshold of a super hero. From now on, I will use a secret identity as a civilian – Ben Summers. Oh, wait, that’s going to be my porn actor name.

Being on crutches for five weeks during the icy winter is going to be frickin’ sweet. But I’m still wearing the hospital ID bracelet in an attempt to get back some of my street cred. Whenever someone axs me what happened, I’m going to tell them I took a bullet in the hoof from a rival golf member.

Yeah, I know I said golf.

And I’ll use my 60-day handicap parking pass to bark at the bitches as they walk past the Saab.

She said it’s cold. It feels like Independence Day.

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