Let’s Get It Started

 
The first sign you’re gay

My grandma always tells me to eat black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day because it’s supposed to bring good luck. I think I’m going to take her advice this year.

In the past month, my digital camera, television and ankle have all broken.

Someone hand me some hot sauce and a fork. 

Stupidity Tax Offense: Saying “See ya next year,” as you leave work on December 31st. – Cha Ching! – $10. – Thanks, Bob Vila.

I could have sworn I already included this one because it’s one of the stupidest things I hear all year. And I hear a lot of stupid shit.

Benny’s New Year’s Resolutions (not in any particular order):

* Get a new digital camera
* Get a new television
* Quit walking on my broken ankle
* Get my pee & cum pill prescriptions filled
* Get a job
* Get below 175 lbs.
* Quit beating my dick like it owes me money
* Get laid
* Create a line of T-shirts and Koozies to sell on the SOB
* Clean the Saab
* Win the lottery

Let’s get into it! – Get stupid!