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Seriously?
This morning I hobbled on my crutches through the hallways of a medical building looking for LabCorp, so I could piss in a cup. What a load of crap. I mean, I don’t smoke pot like I did in college, but I think it’s total bullshit that I could lose a job because I took a few puffs at a Petty Concert.
Anyway, I passed a men’s restroom along the way and thought to myself, “I need to piss.”
So I did.
When I finally made it to my destination, the lady took my paperwork, and made me take off my coat and empty my pockets. She then handed me the specimen cup with lines drawn for ‘minimum’ and ‘maximum’ levels. As she shut the door, I realized that I probably shouldn’t have relieved myself earlier – because I had nothing left but a few drops.
I walked out of the bathroom with my head down. I explained my predicament to the lady and she told me that I couldn’t leave the office until my mission was complete. Whore. I had to guzzle water for 30 minutes before I won the next round.
The only thing that made my wait worth while was watching the lady rolling a new jug of water from the storage room into the lobby.
And they better not test for pain or pee pills.
– Smurfs at work. NSFWÂ
-Â The Amazing Racist. NSFW
– Plaxico Burress on gun safety. NSFWÂ
– Charlie Brown celebrates Martin Luther King Day. NSFW
You think you’re tired now. But wait until three.