Pictured today is the nephew of cast member Chuck H. He plays high school hockey in Wheeling, West Virginia. Isn’t there a dog track in Wheeling, West Virginia?
Anyway, I’m just happy to be doing my part to educate the next generation.
I have a lot of stories from high school. But since I don’t want to give the youth of American any bad ideas, I’ll share a PG-13 yarn.
One fall afternoon my cross-country team was on a 6-mile run after school. As we crossed the bridge over a busy highway, someone thought it would funny to moon the rush hour traffic. In some cultures, I believe this practice is referred to as “chucking a brown eye”.
Being the only sophomore on the team, I gladly joined in. Man, peer pressure is a bitch.
The following morning, the only person not to participate in the prank (because he was a Mormon), told me that a concerned citizen had called into the school to complain.
I knew what was coming next when someone walked into my class and handed the teacher a note. She read it, looked directly at me, and said, “Benny, the Principal would like to see you.”
“Okee doke.”
I sat through a half hour of intense interrogation – denying every accusation thrown at me.
When I walked into the locker room that afternoon for practice, my teammates seemed kind of down.
“What did you get?” one of them asked a fellow teammate.
“Three weeks of Saturday school and I can’t run in our own invitational,” he responded.
He then looked at me and asked, “How about you, Soph?”
“You guys told the truth?” I asked.
“Yeah, you didn’t?” they all responded together.
“No.”
“Well, it looks like you’ll be running in the varsity meet next week,” the team captain told me.
“Sweet.”
I was one of the last runners to finish. But I made out with a hot varsity cheerleader later that night.
-Â Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water’s getting warm so you might as well swim.