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Benny Blocker
Benny Blocker

“What the hell is that?” you ask.

It’s the ingenious plan I came up with to prevent myself from peeing on the couch when I come home in a drunken stupor. I figured if I put a couple of things on it, I wouldn’t bother removing them.

The plan worked like a charm. Saturday night I stumbled right past the couch – and peed in my bed.

WTF is wrong with me? Seriously.

I think God is sending me a message. For the last several weeks, I’ve been taking advantage of my temporary handicap sticker, which expires at midnight.

This morning, I woke up with a painful case of gout and can barely walk.

Some dude saw me limping into QuikTrip and said, “Beer will numb that pain.”

“I think that’s what caused it,” I replied.

And then I grabbed a 12-pack of Bud Light.

Today marks the third anniversary of the first post on the Summer of Benny.

So, what’s changed during these last three years? Not much. My pick didn’t win the Preakness, I drank beer at the pool, and complained about democrats.

One thing has changed – we have T-shirts and Koozies. And to celebrate the occasion, everything will be marked down 20% for the next three weeks.

Nothing says Happy Father’s Day like an “I’m going to my pants – need anything?” T-shirt from the SOB.

You always won every time you placed a bet.