I went to the 2nd Annual Beer and Brats Festival in Westport on Saturday. I’d like to make two comments about the afternoon. First, I never saw a brat. Second, I had no idea you could get so wasted when sampling beers from a 5-ounce glass.

I guess it comes down to simple math. 50 x 5 = Daddy’s drunk.

I’m going to sell my remaining shares of GM stock, and let it ride on the Belmont this Saturday. I should have just enough for a $5 win bet.

- How some guy in Montana tried to get out of jury duty. Thanks, Jennifer P. 

- Drew Carey takes a shot to the nuts. Thanks, John M. 

- WTF is wrong with this lady?. NSFW

- Beat the Heat Tips from Donnie Baker.

- A rare double drink.

When I’m called off I got a sawed off. Squeeze the trigger and bodies are hauled off.

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