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Beds Are Burning

I read the American Idol runner-up announced he is gay. I think his name his Adam, or something. I never watched an episode but I saw the guy on one of the morning shows the day after the final. He’s gay? Really? Shit, the guy makes Clay Aiken look straight. June is Gay Pride month. May was […]

Me And My Gang

The Melrose Place pool party last Saturday was something of a homecoming. A majority of the cast members were there – Abby, Crowe Dog, Dani-girl, Chico, Gina Party, Issac, Leo & Sheri, Maribeth, Sheila E and Tom d G. But I want to clear up a rumor – mainly the one started by me. I was not […]

She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy

  Belmont Picks: Chocolate Candy Dunkirk Mine That Bird Charity Man Long shot exotic plays: 3/1,5 trifecta, 3-1-5-7 superfecta SOB Translation of the Day Quote: “The pool party is tonight.” Translation: “I’m going to start drinking at noon, and be asked to leave when it starts.” Plowin’ these fields in the hot summer sun. Over by the […]

Original Sin

  Screw it. I’ve got nothing tonight, so let’s go with the story of Big Butthole Girl. I had a crush on this chick all through high school. I finally nailed her my first summer back from college. She had gone to another school, and somehow managed to remain a virgin. I had done the same. Wink. […]

Silly Love Songs

I walked past an elderly Korean lady tonight after work. She’s a neighbor I see all the time, but we’ve never had a conversation. I was carrying a 30-pack of cold ones, and completely prepared to give her a nod and go on my way. “Ah, you must ah rike the beer,” she said with a smile. “Yep,” […]

Straight Outta Compton

I went to the 2nd Annual Beer and Brats Festival in Westport on Saturday. I’d like to make two comments about the afternoon. First, I never saw a brat. Second, I had no idea you could get so wasted when sampling beers from a 5-ounce glass. I guess it comes down to simple math. 50 x 5 = Daddy’s drunk. I’m going […]