Everybody Wants To Rule The World

The Clinton Culinary Combo Kitchen Tool Set

I hate having to remember so many passwords. I have seven just at work. They are all different, and they all have different requirements. 6-14 characters, upper/lower case, special characters like “!,@,#,$<%,^,&,*”…

Not to mention they have to be changed every “X” number of days.

But I came up with a good way to deal with the Help Desk whenever I forget a password. They usually ask a series of security questions like:

1. What is your maternal mother’s name?
2. What grade school did you attend?
3. What was the name of your first dog?

But I noticed a new question a few months ago – “Who would you most like to meet?”

My answer? – “Your mom.”

This worked like a charm today when I had to deal with an IT woman in India.

“I need to ask you a few security questions,” she asked.

“No problem,” I replied.

“What was your first car?”

“A 1979 Chevy Monza. I lost my virginity in the back seat.”

“What?”

“Chevy Monza.”

“What was the name of your first dog?”

“Buttons.”

“Who would you most like to meet?”

“Your mom.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your mom. Just type it in.”

I heard a few keystrokes and then, “How can I help you today?”

This Day in Benny History

1995: Drove to KC

1997: PM – Walk/jog to YMCA, 2 circuits @ 12, walk/jog home, 2 Abs @ 15

1998: PM – YMCA – 5 min. Stairmaster, 15 min. cycle, 1 circuit @ 12, 5 min. cycle

2000: AM – 3 mi. walk/jog

2002: Kiah had surgery to remove tumor. She spent night at vet. And died a few months later. What a jip!

2001: Drove home from KC with Drunkie Drunk. She wanted to stop by a winery on the way home. Shocker.

2003: 3.5 mi. run

2004: Drank beers and Zimas with Mr. and Mrs. O. The night we ran out of beer.

2005: Red in town – lunch at Trainwreck. Night – TJ, Red, Niro (and kids), G-Man, Matt M at my place

2006: Pool in afternoon. Night – Bush stadium to watch Royals beat the Cards 7-6. Jake’s Leg at Broadway Oyster Bar after. Sweet.

2007: 6:30 AM – drove home from KC after spending Saturday night at cousin’s wedding

2008: Judge excused me from jury duty after deliberations began. Hang the bastard.

SOB Translation of the Day

Quote: Man, I can’t wait ta git out o’ werk taday. These people be trippin’.

Translation: I am ready to go home. The customers are getting on my nerves.

Things that make me say WTF?

Protesters marched in front of the Illinois State Capital yesterday holding signs that read, “Do your job! Raise taxes!”

Who in the shit wants their taxes raised?

Oh, probably people that have the time to march around the state capital on a Tuesday afternoon.

Welcome to your life. There’s no turning back.