SOB_Header_Image

Alcohol Detector

I thought about buying this alcohol detector the other day at AutoZone. But the crowd I hang with would just use it as a flipping party favor.

Sure, we would get together and call it “Game Night.” But sooner or later, this thing would become our Yahtzee.

I’ve been reluctant to talk about the events that transpired on the night of July 4th. Mainly because I fell asleep at 6:30, and wanted to make sure the entourage I left behind got completely exonerated.

I received an email the week after the 4th from the manager at Melrose Place. It outlined, in detail, a number of items that were thrown into the pool that night. These included deck chairs, a cooler, and over 20 beer cans.

The email explained that some of the beer cans were full. This was my first defense. No one in our group would ever waste beer.

My second argument was that my friends aren’t vandals. Sure, we like to keep track of how many beers we drink by writing tick marks on the top of a cooler with a Sharpie.

Who doesn’t?

But since King left the cooler behind with our names on it, we were the usual suspects.

My count was 22.

Thankfully, our group was eventually cleared. I don’t know who did it. But they owe King a green cooler.

And since the day I left Milwaukee; Lynchburg and Bordeaux France. Been making the bars lots of big money. And helping white people dance.