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$1 BJ

Lil’ Bro was in Vegas over the weekend. He was telling me about the restaurants and night clubs they went to. I had no idea Las Vegas offered that type of entertainment. Whenever I’ve been there, the only things I saw were gaming tables and sports books.

That got me thinking about my trips to the desert:

1989
You always remember your first – trip to Vegas, that is.

I was selling used cars at the time. I didn’t do it for the money. I just enjoyed the great reputation that came with the job. I was supposed to work on Saturdays, but spent one Friday night getting over-served at a Joe “King” Carrasco show.

My boss was pretty pissed when I didn’t show up for work. But when you’re young – and hungover – things like that don’t really bother you.

Anyway, a buddy stopped by to see if I wanted to go to the dog track. I went because, hey, I needed to cash my last paycheck somewhere.

Long story short – we split a $12k tri-super jackpot.

I booked a flight for me and another buddy that night. We spent the next 18 hours drinking and gambling until the Sunday red-eye took us home.

I walked into the Monday morning sales meeting like a rock star. And no, they didn’t fire me.

1991
I went for a friend’s bachelor party. I almost lost my entire bankroll at the roulette table before I checked into the room. I also missed an 8-team parlay when the Yankees beat the Mariners in extra innings. Had the Mariners won, my $5 wager would have paid over $1,200. Stupid Yankees.

1997
Me and Doggie Style went there in July for a long weekend. You can get pretty good rates during the summer. And as long as you don’t mind temperatures in the 120’s, you can have a pretty good time.

1998
I met some buddies for Super Bowl XXXII. All of us took advantage of the generous 11-point spread given to the Broncos – and parlayed them with the Over (47). Cha Ching! Payday.

We also saw John Mellencamp the night before at the Hard Rock.

But the best part of the weekend was early Sunday morning when we were saving our seats in the sports book. Red was nowhere to be found. And then he showed up with In-N-Out Burgers for everyone. The people around us thought we had won a Keno jackpot, or something.

1999
I went to a convention at the newly opened Venetian. I gave my ATM and credit cards to my boss because I was there for one thing – work.

Then I slipped a $20 bill in the video poker machine while waiting for a beer – and got a Royal Flush that paid $4k.

The remaining three days are a blur, but I learned a few things:

– Pit bosses remember your name when you win

– Most employers don’t like it when you do tequila shots in the trade show booth

– It’s hard to hit a golf ball when you have the shakes

– The pretty girl flirting with you can sometimes be a hooker

2002
I took Drunkie Drunk on this trip. I won $1,500 on a slot machine the first night. And after the air-conditioning didn’t work in our room at the Sahara – and I peed in her shoe – we moved to the Rio.

I got her a new pair of shoes and a Swedish massage after we checked in. That was money well spent because her spa visit bought me a couple of hours to myself. And I didn’t spend it reading by the pool.

We stopped by the sports book the next day to see if I had earned any comps. The pit boss grabbed his clipboard and instead of just saying, “Yes,” he recapped the amount of money I pushed through the windows the night before.

FYE – It was a rather large amount.

Drunkie Drunk didn’t talk to me during dinner. But I didn’t care. I just enjoyed my complimentary filet mignon and baked potato – while playing a Deuces Wild machine.

Lights so bright. Palm sweat, blackjack on a Saturday night

2 Responses

  1. I seem to recall being involved in the Great Venetian Incident of 1999 and you were not even going by your real name (is this a pattern of behavior?) I seem to recall you COULD NOT LOSE that night (well, that morning…) and were blindly (because you were blind drunk) pressing buttons on the video poker machine. If my memory serves me correctly I did NOT have as much to drink as you and we played Elvis slots (with Ginger OneBritches, of course!) until such time The King had sung ALL his songs… AND wasn’t that the night the new dealer paid everyone who LOST on Caribbean Stud?
    “Let it Ride” indeed. Thought you were going to clock the guy who sat down at our table and started to say “hey, but I lossst.” Oh wait, you DID clock him, under the table..

    And, finally, you didn’t really mind that she was a hooker.