I just got something called P90X. Talk about your misunderstandings. I thought the infomercial said, “Get ripped for 90 days.” Turns out it says, “Get ripped in 90 days.”

That’s great. Instead of learning how to go on a 3-month bender – now I have to workout for 90 days straight.

Okay, I knew what I was getting. I’m just not in a hurry to start the timer. But I need to get back into shape, so I’ll let you know if/when I ever watch one of the DVDs.

Besides, I should be giving instructions on how to go on a 90-day bender.

Today I was told to be careful with the emails I send because they’re being watched.

I’ve always assumed that everything I send is being monitored. That’s why you should always disguise the more “questionable” material when sending an email. Here, let me give you an example.

Let’s say that Mr. O just sent you an image of a naked woman doing something with a piece of fruit, other than eating it.

And now you want to share this picture with a few colleagues.

Don’t forward this email!

First, you want to change the Subject Line:

Old: XXX – Banana Trombone – XXX

New: Time Sheets

Now, change the name of the attached image.

Old: lonely_housewife.jpg

New: corporate_logo.jpg

I’m not saying this will always work. But you’ll probably be able to find an attorney to defend your wrongful termination case.

I got a freaky old lady name a Cocaine Kitty who embroiders on my jeans. I got my poor old gray-haired daddy – drivin’ my limousine.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 at 8:58 pm and is filed under Daily Episodes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.