Another conversation with Anonymous Buddy:
ANONYMOUS BUDDY
I found a great tip to help boost my brainpower.
BENNY
Okay.
ANONYMOUS BUDDY
It said to brush your teeth with your left hand if you’re a righty. But I took it a step further.
BENNY
I think I know where this is going.
ANONYMOUS BUDDY
Yep – I started using the other hand to jerk off – tried it out this afternoon.
BENNY
Seriously – what is wrong with you?
ANONYMOUS BUDDY
Nothing. But while you’re giving yourself up for Lent – I’ll be getting smarter – and you’ll be getting dumber.
BENNY
Yeah, I’m sure that was Bill Gate’s secret to success.
ANONYMOUS BUDDY
Don’t be condescending.
BENNY
That’s a pretty big word, Brainiac.
ANONYMOUS BUDDY
See – it’s already working.
Great pickup line:
You: Hey baby, can I buy you a drink?
Her: Sorry, I have a boyfriend.
You: Really? I have a goldfish.
Her: What?
You: Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about shit that doesn’t matter.
I am the son and the heir – of nothing in particular.