Okay, so we’re three weeks away from The Summer of Benny trip to California to visit King.

Here’s a list of SOB cast members making the trip: Me, Tom d G, Dani-girl, Abby, Maribeth.

But here’s the kicker – I wasn’t going until JB (a guy I’ve never met) was kind enough to use a free airline ticket on my drunk ass.

The only problem is I’m flying on a different airline than the others. Here’s my itinerary on the way out there:

Depart St. Louis (STL) at 6:30 AM
Arrive in Las Vegas (LAS) at 8:15 AM
Depart Las Vegas (LAS) at 10:55 AM
Arrive in Sacramento (SMF) at 12:30 PM

Dear JB,

Thanks again for the ticket. I wish I could have made it out there to party with you guys. But my 3-hour layover turned into three days.

And you never walk away from the table when you’re on a heater.

Benny

Now you swear and kick and beg us, that you’re not a gamblin’ man. Then you find you’re back in Vegas, with a handle in your hand.

Two weeks into Lent, and I’m still King of the County.

But I’m getting aroused by the strangest things. Check out Miss Butterworth’s looking all sexy inside my refrigerator door.

Tease.

Sometimes I wish they made a patch for this, but I would probably just rub it off.

Watching the Olympics didn’t help, either. Skating – Skiing – Snowboarding – they all had hot chicks competing. And don’t get me started on the Curling Cougar from Canada.

Meow.

How the hell did the athletes in Vancouver go through 100,000 free condoms, anyway?

They must not have any self-control.

When masturbation’s lost its fun, you’re fucking breaking.