After watching the election coverage, I’m convinced the majority of people that hate Fox News have never watched Fox News.
I spent hours flipping through the cable news channels last night. As usual, Fox News had personalities and contributors from every side of the political spectrum.
CNN also did a nice job.
But MSNBC was a frickin’ joke. I mean, Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews spent the night making fun of every Republican. Rachael Maddow said the biggest story of the night was Harry Reid holding on to his senate seat and role as Majority Leader.
Uh, I think the biggest story of the night was Republicans gaining more seats in the House since 1938.
How did they gain so many seats? The answer is simple. For nearly two years, the Democrats have controlled the House, Senate and White House. That means they have no one to blame but themselves for not getting things done.
They spent 18 months trying to ram health care reform through, while the unemployment rate hovered around 10%.
Remember the town hall meetings during the summer of 2009? Citizens were begging their leaders to postpone health care reform for now, and concentrate on creating jobs.
But the Democrats didn’t listen to their constituents. They went full steam ahead with their own agenda, even when the majority of citizens opposed it.
That arrogance spurred the growth of a grass roots movement known as the Tea Party. CNN, MSNBC and the mainstream media laughed them off. They called them tea baggers, nut jobs and racists.
Sure, some of the eventual Tea Party nominees ended up being a little questionable to say the least. But the movement ended up making a difference in the election.
More importantly, they made a statement to every politician – You work for us; not the other way around.
Now I want to talk about my butt. I had a physical today, and was convinced I was going to get a prostate exam. In preparation, I did a little manscaping, and used a medicated wipe. I thought that would be a nice touch.
I also refrained from farting. I wasn’t sure if that mattered or not. I guess I was just afraid of ripping a wet one that could have left a slight poop residue.
But the doctor said I haven’t reached the age where a prostate exam was necessary. I was relieved. And then he had me drop my pants to check for a hernia by fondling my nut sack.
I admire doctors for what they do. But I could never stick my finger up another dude’s butt, or rub his balls. That’s probably why I never became a doctor.
That, and the fact it took me 4 1/2 years to get an Associate’s Degree.
If you’ll be my Dixie Chicken, I’ll be your Tennessee Lamb