Beer Can Chicken

After watching the election coverage, I’m convinced the majority of people that hate Fox News have never watched Fox News.

I spent hours flipping through the cable news channels last night. As usual, Fox News had personalities and contributors from every side of the political spectrum.

CNN also did a nice job.

But MSNBC was a frickin’ joke. I mean, Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews spent the night making fun of every Republican. Rachael Maddow said the biggest story of the night was Harry Reid holding on to his senate seat and role as Majority Leader.

Uh, I think the biggest story of the night was Republicans gaining more seats in the House since 1938.

How did they gain so many seats? The answer is simple. For nearly two years, the Democrats have controlled the House, Senate and White House. That means they have no one to blame but themselves for not getting things done.

They spent 18 months trying to ram health care reform through, while the unemployment rate hovered around 10%.

Remember the town hall meetings during the summer of 2009? Citizens were begging their leaders to postpone health care reform for now, and concentrate on creating jobs.

But the Democrats didn’t listen to their constituents. They went full steam ahead with their own agenda, even when the majority of citizens opposed it.

That arrogance spurred the growth of a grass roots movement known as the Tea Party. CNN, MSNBC and the mainstream media laughed them off. They called them tea baggers, nut jobs and racists.

Sure, some of the eventual Tea Party nominees ended up being a little questionable to say the least. But the movement ended up making a difference in the election.

More importantly, they made a statement to every politician – You work for us; not the other way around.


Now I want to talk about my butt. I had a physical today, and was convinced I was going to get a prostate exam. In preparation, I did a little manscaping, and used a medicated wipe. I thought that would be a nice touch.

I also refrained from farting. I wasn’t sure if that mattered or not. I guess I was just afraid of ripping a wet one that could have left a slight poop residue.

But the doctor said I haven’t reached the age where a prostate exam was necessary. I was relieved. And then he had me drop my pants to check for a hernia by fondling my nut sack.

I admire doctors for what they do. But I could never stick my finger up another dude’s butt, or rub his balls. That’s probably why I never became a doctor.

That, and the fact it took me 4 1/2 years to get an Associate’s Degree.

If you’ll be my Dixie Chicken, I’ll be your Tennessee Lamb

6 Responses to “Dixie Chicken”

  1. Leo says:

    Fox News? I have watched and it insults my intelligence. Fair and Balanced – It is about as fair as a carnival game and as balanced as a handful of lead and a handful of cotton. I think that Fox is synonymous with Republican. I won’t even comment on the Tea Baggers. As far as not getting anything done, it is impossible to correct in 18 months what President Dumb Ass took 8 years to screw up, you know, the guy that entered the Office with a surplus but left with a 3 trillion dollar deficit, he could scratch a diamond with a cotton swab. What really scares me as they will probably back Sarah Palin in 2012, the only person on the face of the Earth that makes “W” seem smart.

  2. W says:

    Leo, you are an idiot! Maybe you need a Civics lesson. Congress, which has been run by Democrats since before George W. Bush was President, and not the President himself, sets the federal budget and approves deficit spending.

  3. Leo says:

    W obviously watches Fox News and therefore relinquishes right to comment, so go stand on the street corner with the other Tea Baggers, the ones that lack the balls to display their Confederate flags while wearing their white robes. I can’t wait until people like you actually elect Palin.

    I did forget to mention that it was President Dumb Ass that declared war on a Country different than the one that attacked us on 9/11.

  4. Benny says:

    Geez Leo, I don’t think it’s right to label Tea Party Members as racists. They are hard-working Americans that think federal spending, deficits and taxes are out of control. More importantly, they think no one in Washington is listening to them.

    The movement was triggered by the Bush bank bailouts in 2008. They gained momentum the following year after things like the Recovery and Reinvestment Act and health care reform bills were passed.

    A lot of pundits believe the Tea Party candidates cost the Republicans the majority in the senate in last week’s mid-term elections. That’s because they won their primaries, and ousted candidates that were previously leading in the general election polls.

    You might want to keep any negative comments regarding the wars to yourself on Veteran’s Day. That’s the day we honor those that have served, and are currently serving, this great country of ours.

    I’m sorry the post got you so upset. Perhaps spending a few nights reading “Decision Points” or watching an hour of Hannity will calm your anger.

  5. Leo says:

    I see the Tea Baggers every weekend at Highway K and Highway N, they were not there until our current President was in office and for some reason, there are NEVER any black people standing by the curb. Wheh I ask them… “Where are all the black people”, I usually get the middle finger salute.

    As far as supporting our troops, I have the utmost respect for anyone that serves. My Father was a P.O.W. in WWII and received 2 bronze stars and he was the one that pointed out how wrong the current war is, and how stupid one would have to be to attack the wrong Country, he is not only right but entitled to his opinion, I happen to agree, he was the epitome of Veteran. If you really want to argue with a Veteran about this, I will give you my brother’s phone number, 3 tours in Vietnam and his views on this are 10 times stronger than what mine are.

    Also, if I was to turn on Hannity, I would first have to remove all guns from my home because I would eventually want to blow my brains out, I can watch Fox News and actually feel the brain cells dying.

    As far as taxes, it should be a straight tax, the more you make the more you pay. If the wealthy don’t want to pay taxes on their high income, I will be more than happy to switch salaries with them, but they do need to S.T.F.U.

  6. W says:

    Leo, you need some help.

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