Archive for August, 2011

King

If you know King, then you know he enjoys a good time. And if you ever go to a bar with him, there are three constants to keep in mind:

  1. You will drink
  2. You will eventually be asked to leave
  3. He will lose his debit card or cell phone; or both

Now normally I would answer a phone call from King. But I’ve been trying to stay off the sauce for a few weeks – and he has not – so when I heard his ringtone (Steve Miller Band – The Joker) blaring from my phone over the weekend, I didn’t deem it necessary to get of the couch and answer it.

Below is the transcript of the voice mail he left me.

August 6, 2011, 6:05 PM CT

Benny… (unintelligible)… I’m going to share with you a little… I don’t know how to call it here… but a little something my dad taught me… When I got into trouble and he would go to frickin’ smack me… or you know… give me a once over… and I would block him… he would always say, ‘You’re only delaying the inevitable. Put your hands down. Get over this knee. (unintelligible)… going to work you over’… The reason I share that story with you, Benny, is because I think that relates to me calling you… and you letting it ring off to voice mail… Just pick up the phone… You’re delaying the inevitable… Pick it up… I’m gonna give you the once over… and then I’ll stop calling… Instead you’re blocking and I’m going to keep swinging… AKA keep calling… (laughter)… (unintelligible)… I’ll call you back here in a little bit.

He called back 15 minutes later. I didn’t pick up.

Worked all week
Cleaned up, clean cut, and clean shaved
Got the cover off a ’68
I fired it up, and let them horses sing

TailGator

After the Good Friday Tornado swept through St. Louis last spring, a few friends got together to help move debris from Crowe Dog’s house.  And by debris, I mean trees.

I know I’ve written about our cleanup efforts previously, but I’ve yet to mention ‘The Chainsaw Incident of 2011’.

Here’s the short version.

Tom bought a chainsaw the day after the storm. The following week, Crowe Dog borrowed Tom’s truck. Later that same day, me and Crowe Dog went on a beer run in Tom’s truck. The chainsaw was in the back of the truck. When we got back to Crowe Dog’s, the chainsaw was no longer in the back of Tom’s truck.

The two of them have since reached a settlement. I stayed out of it. But I choose to break my silence now because I’ve found something to put closure on this subject once and for all.

Chainsaw is entered on August 5, 2011 at FAIRMOUNT PARK.

Race: 2 – 7:58 PM  Second Half Daily Double / Exacta / 50 Cent Trifecta (Minimum $2.00 Wager) $1.00 Pick 3 (Races 2-3-4)

MAIDEN CLAIMING $5,000

Purse: $ 4,000. For Maidens, Three Years Old And Upward. Three Year Olds, 116 Lbs.; Older, 124 Lbs. Claiming Price $5,000. One Mile.

And I think there’s something we can all agree on – a horse that’s been plodding along in Maiden Special Weight races and then shows early speed when moved to the Maiden Claiming ranks can be a great handicapping angle.

Update: Chainsaw finished 5th beaten by 32 1/4 lengths, on August 5, 2011, at FAIRMOUNT PARK in Race 2. Off odds: 2.20

One is one too many
One more is never enough

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