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Here’s how the weekend went down; Saturday – teed off in the Westacott tournament at 1:00; drunk by hole #3; returned to G-Man’s house around 9:00; drank until the sun came up; slept from 7:00 – 10:30; went home; slept again from 11:00 – 3:30; went to the pool; took an hour to finish first beer; went to Casa at 6:00 to eat Mexican food; back home at 7:30; fought to stay awake until 9:00 to watch Entourage; fell asleep during the closing credits.

You know it’s going to be a long Monday when you’ve been on the toilet 4 times before Noon and have the shakes.

I once lived with a chick that drank excessively and loved to argue.  One night, she ran out of the house after a shouting match.  I followed her to the driveway carrying a broom and shouted, “Hey!  You forgot your car.”  The relationship didn’t last much longer.

Nobody loves me but my Mama, and she could be jivin’, too.

Benny