Down Under

They may release the footage of Steve Irwin being killed by a stingray.  He always told his crew to keep the camera rolling, no matter the circumstances.  He wanted his last word to be, “Crikey.”  You gotta love that.

Do you ever get out of the shower, tuck your penis between your legs, and walk around like a woman?

Me neither.

I recently had to fill out some insurance papers and our HR lady questioned one of my answers.  The question read, “In Case of Emergency, Contact?”   I wrote, “911.”  What the hell is wrong with that?

The IRS is turning over thousands of delinquent accounts to private collection agencies.  Crystal Ball – I see a new phone number being ignored in my future. 

Caller ID is one of the greatest inventions, ever.

Is anyone else worried that a terrorist attack may be eminent?  Over the weekend, I saw the #2 Al Qaeda guy asking the West to convert to Islam or suffer the consequences.  These nut bags believe you cannot attack your enemy until you have invited them to become a Muslim.  If they decline, it’s okay to kill them.  

He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich.

Benny