Money For Nothing

I always seem to get gout this time of the year.  For those of you who don’t know what gout is, it’s God’s way of telling you that you are not eating and drinking properly. 

I know a guy behind the guy, who manages a cineplex in Chicago.  The other night, he gets paged to the lobby which usually means he is about to be confronted by an angry patron. 

Instead, he is met by a woman who introduces herself as “Steven Tyler’s Publicist.”  As the conversation commences, Steven Tyler walks through the door, addresses him by name (name tag), and says, “I see the 9:45 showing of ‘The Departed’ is sold out.”

The guy behind the guy responds by telling him they can probably work something out which ends up being a private screening of the movie for Mr. Tyler. 

Afterwards, the lead singer calls the guy behind the guy’s girlfriend and sings to her.  Before he leaves, he hands over his publicist’s cell phone number and tells him to call her if he ever wants tickets and backstage passes to an Aerosmith concert.

I don’t know which is cooler; the guy behind the guy having future access to Aerosmith concerts or Steven Tyler shutting down an entire theatre so he can catch a flick. 

On the subjects of movies, why do porns cost so much at hotels?  C’mon, $14.99?  I’m only going to watch it for 5-minutes; 10-minutes tops.  Can’t they pro-rate it?

More than 50 illegal Mexican immigrants were found living in the same house in San Antonio.  This shouldn’t add to the stereotype.

Disney is outraged after seeing Mickey, Minnie, and other characters simulating an orgy in an Internet video.  I knew Minnie was fu**ing Goofy.

And your chicks for free.

Benny