Weekends Only

I’m a supporter of the Patriot Act, but under the new law, a couple faces 20 years in prison for a sexual escapade aboard a flight.  What kind of world do we live in when you can’t go down on your girlfriend during a cross-country flight?

This chick poops in the hot tub. 

Sometimes when I’m bored, I go to self-checkout lane at the grocery store, and choose “Espanol” on the screen.  It makes me laugh because I don’t know what they’re saying. 

Have you ever realized that you are an adult, and the only pictures on your walls are of dogs playing poker and your favorite sports stadium?

Me neither.

Issac is moving to Michigan on Thursday, and he wants me to buy his furniture.  I asked if he’s ever had sexual relations on the sofa.  He replied that I shouldn’t be picky given my history with sofas.  Word.  I can’t wait to pee on it. 

I just hope he’ll take a post-dated, four-party check. 

Benny