Let’s Go

I’ve got nothing today so I thought I would write about meeting a college girlfriend’s parents for the first time.

Actually, I have about 500 stories from this era, and hope to put them into a book some day called, “Why I am still single.”

Sally was a sweet girl from a small town in southern Missouri.  We had been dating for six months when I went home for a semester while she continued her education.  And by went home, I mean the college suspended me for the spring semester.  Apparently, my GPA equaled the number of parties I had missed during the fall; 1.0.

She decided that I should drive down one Friday night and go to her hometown the following morning to meet her parents.  Caught in the midst of a three-week slump, I agreed.

I stopped by to see a few buddies before I went to her place.  She was a little disappointed when I called with the news, but said she looked forward to seeing me in an hour or so.

During this brief window of opportunity, some dude walked in with a big bag of mushrooms.  Not wanting to be rude, I ate a handful, and put on some Pink Floyd.

I somehow let two hours elapse, and called Sally with an update. Again, she was a little miffed at why I didn’t want to see her.  I explained that wasn’t the case, and I would be over in another hour. 

The truth was I didn’t know how I was going to drive because I had bugs in my eyes and thought I was the devil. 

Thankfully, another guy stopped by who wasn’t tripping, and said he would drop me off at her place on the way to the gas station.  Everyone piled into the car and off we went.

Because I was laughing uncontrollably in the back seat, I lost track of time and direction.  I noticed that we were on a highway; a highway in another state.

I was informed that we were taking a road trip to Oklahoma to see something called the spook light.  I asked the driver to pull off at the next exit so I could call Sally.  It was after midnight, and I had to call her collect from a pay phone; not the greatest of moves. 

Besides, I was tripping so hard, I could barely speak.  Sally said that she was leaving at 7 AM; with our without me.

We never saw the spook light, but spent two hours staring up at the stars on a deserted dirt road in Oklahoma.  We drank beer and argued whether or not we were the only life form in the universe.

The sun was coming up as we pulled back into town, and I finally made it to Sally’s, beating the deadline by fifteen minutes. 

After a two and a half hour drive, we arrived at her parent’s house.  I remember shaking her Dad’s hand, and then waking up on their sofa at 4:00 in the afternoon.  He was smoking a pipe, and staring at me like I had just driven over the family pet.

Funny, but her parents never really seemed to like me.

I like the nightlife, baby.

Benny