Happy New Year
The Summer of Benny will return on January 2nd. In the meantime, if you hear someone say, “See you next year”, take $10, and call them a jack-ass. I don’t go out on New Year’s Eve (i.e. Amateur Night). I refuse to pay inflated prices for something I already do every night of the week. Let’s […]
So Lonely
Today’s post is short because I spent most of the evening reading this newspaper article. Watch this guy drink a flaming shot. – Thanks, Chuck H. (I Wanna) Pee on You – (Warning: Contains profanity). The Farting Gym Goer. You know, there’s like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me […]
Airport Bars
Of all the gin joints… The Christmas weekend started at the airport on Friday night.  Once there, I discovered that my flight was delayed by 90 minutes. Having already consumed a number of beers, and a Xanax, I decided to slow it down a bit so not to dampen Lil’ Bro’s sofa again. My well intended plans […]
Stuck In The Middle With You
I appeared in court today to answer charges in violation of City Ordinance 62971 (Conduct on Public Transportation). In layman’s terms, I am accused of not having valid proof of paid fare on the light rail system. After consulting a bottle of Crown Royal last night, I decided to plead not guilty by reason of insanity. As I sat in […]
I Won’t Back Down
I called my Grandma (Maternal) tonight, and she started talking about Miss USA. She said, “I hope she takes advantage of her second chance and stays out of those beer joints.” That reminded me of the time my Grandpa (Paternal) gave me a lecture about the evils of marijuana. He told me to “stay away from the dope”, […]
I Don’t Want To Work
My new job has presented a market where everyone seems hell bent on spending money before the year ends.  WTF? I’ve been busier than a $2 whore on Nickel Night. I have road rage (Shocker). If I had a dollar for every time I said, “What the f**k is this guy doing?” I wouldn’t have to work. New Stupidity Tax: You show […]
Where It’s At
On Saturday night I dressed up as Santa for the annual Christmas party. Daddy’s drunk. Dani-girl uploaded new pictures from her Christmas party. And by Christmas, I mean Hanukkah. Former President Bill Clinton tried to kill Santa? I had no idea that I was being considered, but Time Magazine chose me as Person of the Year. What lazy ass editor came […]