This is the worst time of the year for watching sports on TV. The weekends leading up to March Madness are going to be filled with figure skating and bowling. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the person who started Women’s Pro Beach Volleyball.
Last week, I got “carded” at a popular restaurant chain when I ordered a beer. Apparently, the popular restaurant chain doesn’t offer vision insurance to their employees.
Tickets to Ozzfest will be free this summer. I’m debating whether it’s still worth the price of admission.
YouTube is hosting a Puberty Sucks contest where contestants upload videos of painful pubescent memories. I didn’t watch any of the videos because that would eat into my porn surfing.Â
However, I have a lot of stories from this time in my life. One that immediately comes to mind is the time I swallowed two Black Beauties (speed) a guy in gym class sold me.
Not knowing the side effects of amphetamines on one’s manhood, I became concerned when my Twinkie shriveled up like a scared turtle. I raced home after school, and locked myself in the bathroom with a Cheryl Tiegs poster.Â
Forty-five minutes later, the lil’ guy regained consciousness, and I rubbed out the poison. I also had to come up with a story for two concerned parents.
4 Idiots (Warning: Contains profanity.) – Thanks, Tom K. in FLA.
Learning one of life’s lessons at an early age. – Thanks, Sheila L.
How to tell when you’ve pissed off an engineer. – Thanks, Tom d G. I don’t get it, but then again, I flunked college algebra; twice.Â
Birthday Calculator – Thanks, Dani-girl.
Wetback English Lessons – Thanks, Freddie R.
USAF Staff Sergeant Michelle Manhart was relieved of duty last month after posing nude in Playboy. (Warning: Contains nudity) – Thanks, Leo K.
I need a raincoat.
Benny