Down With The Sickness
I started having second thoughts after telling a professional acquaintance about my website. But, I figure as long as he’s not Black, Jewish, Hindu, Indian (Tonto; not Dot), Gay, or a Democrat, he shouldn’t find this stuff too offensive. Dani-girl uploaded new pictures. After seeing Crowe Dog’s chick, I realized one thing – he’s one hell of a salesman. Jesse Jackson will […]
Sweet Dreams
I’m getting sick and tired of people calling me during the week and apologizing for not returning my call from the weekend when I don’t even remember leaving a message. Beer. I ate an Altoids before a sales call today. Man, those things are curiously strong. Guy skis down a huge escalator Baby in Danger! Chickie […]
Can’t You Hear Me Knocking
I’m back after spending the weekend with my niece and nephew. They like spending time with Uncle Benny, and apparently taking advantage of my lawlessness. They pick out a movie, White Chicks, and I fall asleep while they’re watching it. I wake up to hear one of the actors saying something about shaving a vagina. […]
Tell Sloan I Said What Up
I think I may drink too much because yesterday I told two waitresses I would mention them on the site. If you see Samantha at Hooters or Jenny at The Brew House, tell them I said, “What up?” I keep forgetting to tell the joke I heard last Saturday…What’s the difference between St. Patrick’s Day and […]
Where Have All The Good Times Gone
I told a couple of women today that my taint was sore from walking three miles. None of them knew what a taint was, although one of them asked if I was referring to my chode. The topic of my taint quickly changed to movies. Who hasn’t seen the movie Risky Business? I must be getting old. […]
Fast Cars And Freedom
Why does your metabolism slow down so much when you get older? For the past month, I’ve been on a diet, worked out five days a week, and lost only ten pounds. I need to lose twenty more pounds before the summer, so I’m going to start using meth. I’ve never seen a fat meth user. […]
Dani California
As you can see, I didn’t write last night. I couldn’t find the energy after a weekend spent drinking green beer and running to Linens ‘n Things for a bottle of Urine Gone. Thankfully, Dani-girl uploaded pictures of her weekend. She said that her boyfriend doesn’t mind her cheating, as long as it’s with another woman. California […]