Surrender

Mother told me, yes, she told me I’d meet girls like you.  She also told me, “Stay away, you’ll never know what you’ll catch.” 

Just the other day I heard a soldier falling off some Indonesian junk that’s going round.

Minus Imus in the morning…  MSNBC won’t be simulcasting the Imus radio show effective immediately.  What am I supposed to watch now? The Today Show?  Give me a break. 

I’ve never been a huge fan of Don Imus, but I enjoyed watching the show because he always had great guests.  Maybe MSNBC can put Countdown with Keith Olbermann in Imus’ spot.

I just puked in my mouth.

The news comes the same day all charges were dropped against the Duke Lacrosse players.  Someone, who shall remain anonymous, told me the Duke students got off because they were rich white kids.  Nothing could be further from the truth. 

News Flash – The charges were dropped. 

The fact they had money and were white hurt them more than anything.  The real crime is how a lunatic claimed rape, and a prosecuting attorney seeking re-election filed charges without doing his homework. 

From The Summer of Benny Mailbag:

What do you call lesbian twins?  Lick a likes. – Chuck H.

i have to say i completely DISCREDIT your loyalty to entourage…..you didnt make any mention of the season opener- you are not welcome at tom’s next week……. – Dani-girl.

How ALL business phones SHOULD be answered! GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
Press “1” for English.
Press “2” to disconnect until you learn to speak English.
And remember only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.  One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. – Mike K.

Ladies, turn those A Cups into D’s with the Winerack. 

Take the quiz: Which Entourage guy are you? 

I loved this – Navy does Hey Ya. 

Ultimate revenge on a cheating ex-girlfriend (Warning: contains profanity.)

Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright, they just seem a little weird.

Benny