Hotel California

I was at a convention a few years ago, which coincidentally, was the same convention that produced the Rickshaw Incident.

This story occurred on day four. 

After three nights of excessive drinking and bed wetting, I walked back to my room for a quick nap before dinner.  As I got closer, I noticed the housekeeping cart was parked outside my door, which was open. 

I figured the maid was just cleaning my room, but when I walked in, I found three maids holding my mattress on its side and pointing to a huge piss stain.  They were screaming in Spanish to a female manager who was holding a walkie-talkie.  

“He just walked in.  I’ll call you back,” she said.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Did something happen to your mattress?” the manager replied.

“Yeah, it was the craziest thing.  I fell asleep holding a full beer last night and it spilled everywhere.”

“Are you sure that’s what happened?” she prodded.

“Does it really matter?”

“No.”

“Then why don’t you make this easier on both of us and get a new mattress up here with a pad on it?  And make it snappy because I need a nap.”

I love to travel.

Bennifer, Brangelina… now create your own couple name with the Couple name maker. 

The Poof is in the farting.

Grab your dick and double-click, the Internet is for Porn. – Thanks, Mark K.

Why men use post-it notes. – Thanks Dani-girl.

“Good night,” said the night man.  “We are programmed to receive.  You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.”

Benny