Sobriety-Day Six
7-7-7; lucky day my ass. I began the day with a trip to McDonalds for breakfast (Hey, I can’t give up all of my bad habits at once.) I was next in line, but before the idiot taking orders said anything to me, he turned back to his homies in the kitchen and said, “I ain’t din nuttin’ today.” Ain’t […]
Sobriety-Day Five
So my buddy Matt M. calls me on day five and says, “Benny, you’ve proven your point. Now, go to the pool on Saturday with a cooler full of beer. Nobody will think less of you.” “What, did you bet against me?” I asked. “Yeah, twenty bucks with Red.” He had me fooled until he brought Red’s name into the story. […]
Sobriety-Day Four
I forgot to mention a couple of events from my Fourth of July. First, I was able to apologize to the last person remaining on my list from last month’s pool party. Apparently, I used a chick’s $1,000 Prada purse to wipe marinara sauce from my mouth. She was at the pool on the 4th, so I told her […]
Sobriety-Day Three
I managed to make it through July 4th without beer, or any other type of alcohol for that matter. Amazing. This was not easy as my pool pals consumed three 30-packs of Natty Light on our country’s birthday. That’s 90 beers for those too hungover for math. It wasn’t a bad day. I got some sun, and grilled […]
Sobriety-Day Two
There are only a few hours left in my second day on the wagon. Tomorrow will be the real test, but tonight wasn’t easy. After work, I hung out at the pool with a bunch of drunks who apparently think you need to drink to have fun. I was just fine with Xanax and weed. Just […]
You Ain’t Much Fun
The SOB storyline is about to take a dramatic turn. I’ve decided to avoid alcohol for ten days; starting now. Ten days may not seem like a long time to most people, but regular readers understand this is an eternity for me. In fact, I don’t think I’ve gone a week without beer. I’m doing this for several reasons. Most […]