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The news that Anheuser-Busch may be sold to an overseas company is more depressing than hearing stories about breast reduction surgery – which, in my opinion, goes against the laws of nature. Sorry, but some girls were meant to have really big boobs, and I was meant to stare at them.
Get a good look, Costanza?
If A-B does get sold to InBev, I may pull a Susan Sarandon and move out of St. Louis. You see, Susan Sarandon said that she’ll move out of the country if John McCain gets elected President in November. Get it? Okay, never mind.
Below is part of a script for a new Bud Light Real Men of Genius commercial I’m working on.
InBev Presents Real Corporate Takeovers
[Real Corporate Takeovers]
Today we salute you, Mr. Anheuser-Busch Shareholder.
[Mr. Anheuser-Busch Shareholder]
While some people might think 65 dollars a share seems like a fair price to sell out an All-American company, you say, “Hell no.”
[It’s the King of Beers]
I was hoping get more written last night, but drank too many Budweisers.
And Billy likes to peel the labels from his bottles of Bud.